I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
