Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
