Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I need to sanitize my soul.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
