you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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