just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
do nipples grow back?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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