I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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