she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
