just tell him i said nine months
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
