I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
