My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
