I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
