Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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