I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
