She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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