Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
