I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
