If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
