I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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