I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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