apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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