My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
