im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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