super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Randomize
