hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
