He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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