Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
