At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
is wine microwaveable?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
