If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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