woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
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Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
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With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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