Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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