Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
