i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
