is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
