if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
