He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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