So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
