I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
