Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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