none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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