their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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