Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
