Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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