it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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