ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
