you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
