you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
