i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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