The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
