Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i am craving dick and cupcakes
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
