its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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