I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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