if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
