I heard we made out
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Someone came in the potted fern
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
