I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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