she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
