Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
