Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize