You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i out mim tonsoeep
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
